i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
