I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
