I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
