if i can run in heels then i can drive
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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