So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
