Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
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Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
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I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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