Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
