yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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