Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
