If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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