Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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