Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Randomize
