No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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