Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
His nipple licking is glorious
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