I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
