If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
