i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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