So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Fuck appropriateness.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
