I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
