Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
