You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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