my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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