Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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