I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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