is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize