No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
