So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
