Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
