We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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