the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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