She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
