Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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