I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
