Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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