He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
