I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
