he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
