When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
