I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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