the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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