Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
