he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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