I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
