he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
