I didn't shave. On purpose
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
