I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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