do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
