party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
