barbara walters just said penis...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
