theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
