No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
how drunk are you?
Several
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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