i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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