After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
