that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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