You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize