I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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