you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
my poor anus
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
