omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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