Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
