I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize