smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
