I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
