we're blogging at a bar
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize