do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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