I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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