I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
