Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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